yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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