The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
