i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The adults are the big ones right?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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