I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
