Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
