you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
