reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I want to fling myself into the sun
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
