My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
His nipple licking is glorious
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