I could have mohawked her pubes.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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