he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
