The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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