I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Randomize
