you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he was CRYING into my vagina
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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