my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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