This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
