Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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