she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
