Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
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You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
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I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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