Where did you get a picture of my penis
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
this will be a night to untag.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
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