she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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