My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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