wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
