just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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