There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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