My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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