Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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