And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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