what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
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Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
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well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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