I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
