Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Pooping to opera.
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