he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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