Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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