Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
