I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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