I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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