thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize