physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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