i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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