Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
