Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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