get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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