i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize