there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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