I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
