So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
