If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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