my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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