I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
