he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
