Got a toothbrush?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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