Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
