Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
