I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
