i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize