With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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