Do you still have your period?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize