I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
