In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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