I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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