My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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