So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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