I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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