I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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