I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
