you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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